Innercitywoman's Blog

  • 10:57:45 am on February 24, 2010 | 0

    We women really are our own worst enemy.  What makes us think that men have such little control over themselves that even if we were stark naked in bed, passions exploding the richter scale, their privates right there at that ever so crucial point, that they don’t have the ability to stop? Or should I say, why do we feel we have no right to tell them to stop, if things have got this far? Why do we feel, that we can’t change our minds? Well I have news for you.  We can change our minds and if we do and he forces the issue – it’s RAPE!!! (text continues below).

    Listen Below to my interview with Christiane Sanderson from One in Four and views from other women on the issue of Rape.


    Ask any bloke you know.  If they were faced with this situation and passions were at an all time high, if he would have the ability to stop, if so requested? Pissed off he might be yes – but he will confirm, that he does have the ability to stop.

    Yet in this modern day and age, we as women feel that if we wear a short or revealing clothing, it gives some out of control, dirty old sod the right to pursue us and forcibly abuse us into full blown sex? By wearing a short skirt we, are somehow to blame because poor old, lack-of-control-men, just can’t help themselves.

    It drives me absolutely nuts when I read stuff like this.  So many women bark on about being modern and claim to be moving with the times, yet are still able to come out with nonsense like this.

    I watched the film Precious with family. There was a scene where Precious’, who was abused and impregnated by her Father, witnessed her Mother blaming her, for the sexual abuse she was subjected to, by her Father. Precious overheard her mother saying that she must have enjoyed it because she didn’t tell anyone.

    At that point, my 80 year old old Aunty, quipped, that the Mother was right. The abused young girl most certainly must have enjoyed it, because she did fail to report the abuse to anyone, including her mother! Needless to say, we all briskly jumped down my Aunties throat, negating all evidence of any future thick thoughts, leaving her mouth in the future.

    That aside, the question I ask is this.  In this the 21st Century, have we as mature, educated women moved on from making such antiquated statements like my Aunts?

    Well if the release of  this recent research is anything to go by, I guess not. Over fifty percent of women feel that women are to blame for rape committed against them because of what they wear.  I guess what these fifty percent of women feel is that if a man sees a woman half naked, by his very nature he simply can’t help himself, therefore she is responsible. Extraordinary!

    So let me spell it out for you. We can wear what we blooming hell we want, when we want and how we want.

    It gives no man or boy, no right, to force sex upon us and if he does, that my dear is Rape.

    Furthermore, for the few women out there who think it’s cool to cry wolf, you too should be punishable by the same jail term as Rapists.  The world has no place for people like you, because it is your deceit the media focuses on deterring from the real, more damaging issue of actual rape cases!

    Getting Your Groove Back Advice:

    Despite what the papers say, there are some wonderful support groups out there to support victims of Rape and from my own experience, the Police handle such issues sympathetically and with care.


    You are not to blame, despite the views of the many unintelligent people around you.

    Check out my family column in the South London Press,  every fortnight in the Pulse Section and the GYGB show on Generation Radio , Friday between 1-2pm and Friday’s at 10pm.

    Log onto my Extra Help pages for details of your local support groups.

    Please share this information with a friend in need, using he boxes below


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