Innercitywoman's Blog

  • 03:42:31 pm on January 19, 2010 | 0

    Sandra Bullocks, who’s married to Jesse James, admits her three step kids call her the Step Monster – which she rightly laughs off.  Not always easy I know, but it’s the only way.

    Looking at the situation from everyone’s perspective is the route to perfect harmony. 

    Step children and Step Parenting is the product of modern day relationships – I call it dating in the 21st Century.

    It’s almost unavoidable to meet and marry someone these days who does not already have children. Just today, I met a young pretty girl no older than 25, who is doing the fortnightly trips to Scotland with her boyfriend to visit his two kids from a previous relationship.  I’m sure that wasn’t the plan for her or her parents when she was growing up –  but hey ho – welcome to life!

    It’s so tough for everyone involved.  Enough has already been written about the failure rates for second marraiges  attributed mainly to the issue of the step kids, so there is little point going on about the same.  We’re all about finding solutions here.

    My son often refers to his Dad’s girlfriend and my boyfriend in the most unfavorable terms no matter how much I tell him not to – when really, he’s just afraid of loosing us both.  There are so just many fears and anxiety’s flying around it’s difficult to put a lid on it.

    Getting Your Groove Back Advice:

    • Leave discipline to the biological parent
    • Understand, everything takes time.  The situation does eventually find it’s groove.
    • Children often eventually feel pleased that they have additional brothers and sisters and are part of a larger family
    • Try DESPERATELY to see things from everybody’s perspective
    • The children didn’t ask for this situation.  You are the adult.  Children are not emotionally equipped to deal with this logically – You are, or are supposed to be!
    • Consider sending the children to a kids coach, such as Naomi Richards.
    • Understand that kids often feel disloyal to their biological parent if they love you too.
    • Establish another relationship with them. You are not the kids replacment Mum.  They already have a mum.  You can however, be a wonderful Aunty figure to them
    • Finally, STAY CALM AND CARRY ON. Smile and add humour to the situation like Sandra Bullock.  Read the blog dulwichdivorcee.com if you want a laugh.
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