Innercitywoman's Blog

  • 02:44:00 pm on January 14, 2010 | 0

    Parenting in the 21st Century is no easy task. Remember – You’re doing the best you can!

    More and more I speak to parents who are bamboozled with the education options available to them, Is it wrong to smack em.  Are worried their kids are not talking, walking, reading, jumping and skipping the way other kids are. Are in disarray with new and ever changing parenting advice and are quite frankly at their wits end.

    This coupled with the fact that we have to be great wives or partners, look great, run an efficient home and expected to have kids that are the smartest, politest, most groomed and the happiest kid in town, is simply not achievable.

    The reality is, if we are trying to raise kids that constantly look like the kids at the front of Your baby and Junior magazine, then your already doomed.

    Welcome to the real world of parenting, where

    • We’re constantly questioning if we’re doing it right.
    • We’re constantly comparing our kids
    • We loose it now and again
    • Parents often feel alone and isolated
    • We’re having to start thinking of secondary schools prior to them being conceived
    • We’re stressed to the hills
    • Constantly reminded by our parents that it wasn’t like this in ‘their day’
    • Constantly bombarded with images of celebrity Mums who seem sooooooooo happy, thus making us feel inadequate
    • ME time is a swear word
    • You have to constantly worry about their safety, not just on the roads and in schools, but also from the paedophile uncle or Auntie
    • Everyday the newspapers quote some other statistic, fact or parenting advice from some professed parenting expert to make us feel even more inadequate or unsuitable parent
    • and so the list goes on.

    BUT CHIN UP! Because that what Getting Your Groove Back is all about.  Sticking you two fingers up to lists like the above and having a good old fashioned larf with yourself and the kids.

    It’s parenting advice with Groove.  It consists of only three or four major rules that our in line with your core values  and throwing the rest in the bin. It’s the opposite to OCD. It’s about letting go and going back to basics adopting only the new bits that suit you.

    Our parenting advice is about getting the wind back in your hair and passing that freedom onto your kids.

    Our parenting advice, is about saving yourself first. It’s about putting yourslef first – before your kid.  Yes you heard right.  Before your kids.

    Education:

    Read our article on Gina Ford versus Angelina Jolie.  Remember, there are no right or wrongs (except child battery and putting them in black bags that is), in this parenting game.

    Each child has their own finger prints as is the case of each school. So there’s no point asking another parent what’s that nursery or school is like.  You’ll get the answer of what that school like for their kid.  Their kid, just in case you didn’t know’, is not your kid. The mother you are asking is only generally able to answer the question based on her perspective for her child. So get with the programme.  Every child has their own needs.

    Behavioual Issues:

    I tend to have a bit of a problem with labels that parenting advisors often give to children.  Your Dyslexic, you’ve got autism oh and your an ADSH kid.  Then the moment that label is given to a child, that’s it.  That’s all the parenting advisor and the parent sees.

    So here’s a test by what I mean.  I want you to close you eyes. You actually have to close them….now when you open your eyes, I want you to see all the things around you that are green.  I bet you see more green around you than you’d see ordinarily?  That’s because you were looking out for it.

    That’s my point.  They say your kid’s got autism.  They give you a leaflet with the symptoms.  Then that’s all you see – in your kid that is.  It gets worst.  You then go onto the Internet and there’s more info. Much, much , much more info. Then the way your little un would do something that you would see as cute is cute no more and is now autism.

    It drives me nuts – labels that is, becuase we just start living to the boundaries that labels set for us

    Fashion:

    A billion articles always written on stuff like this for kids.  Geez is it that important.  Whatever works for you.  That’s all I’ve got to say on the matter.

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