Innercitywoman's Blog

  • 09:25:03 am on April 29, 2009 | 0
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    When you’ve come to the decision to finally kick the relationship to the kerb and there are kids involved, the next challenge is ‘getting over it’.

    My Lesson number one:

    Don’t tell yourself to stop thinking about him or listen to advise telling you the same.  The mind can be crap in situations like this.  The more you tell yourself not to think about him, the more you will.  Afterall, you have to think about him in order to stop thinking about him.  For example, if I said to you, don’t think about a green elephant with pink spots on, what’s the first thing you do? Think about a green elephant with pink spots on.

    So if you have to think about something, think about the shit times and why you ended in the first place.  Stop hallucinating about how great it could of been. Rest assured, your not  gonna find anything different in the same place you’ve been searching for in the last how many years.

    My Lesson number two:

    Even if he was the biggest twat under the sun, don’t use the kids as a sounding board.  My Mum was a great inspiration for this.  Even though my own toss pot Dad left my Mum for my cousin, who was her niece and never gave her a dry cent from the day he left, she has never ever bad mouthed him. 

    Lesson number three:

    Hate binds longer than love.  What you think, affects what you do andwhat you do effects your actions. So whilst your using up your merry energy hating the ex, your anger indirectly affects everything that you do. Your anger will be unconsciously driving you to mistrust others or devalue yourself.  All this whilst he’s busy getting on with his merry life and not giving you a second thought. 

    And Lesson number four:

    Get busy finding a new you.  Ask yourself what would you do if this was your last day alive?  Then go do it.  Moreover, try with all your mite to avoid the rebound thing.  I’m sure you’ve heard it before and I know it takes some serious self control, but so so worth it in the end.  Only then will you lean the lesson from the past to avoid picking up yet another toss pot and and end back up at square one!


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